The PLEASE Skill in DBT: Looking After Our Emotions By Looking After Ourselves

Emotion Regulation in DBT

Emotion regulation is one of the four modules in Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (or DBT – see previous blog posts for more info on this type of therapy!). The skills within this module aim to help individuals to understand, manage, and modify emotions to respond in healthier ways. Sometimes intense emotions can lead to actions which can be detrimental to ourselves, our relationships or goals. DBT focuses on improving client’s ability to reduce emotional vulnerability, increase emotional resilience, and change these unhelpful emotional responses – or in a broader sense, to regulate our emotions!

One place where emotional regulation starts, but is often overlooked, is in managing our vulnerability to intense emotions before we are even in a situation which might trigger an emotional response. You might be thinking to yourself ‘how do I do this if I don’t even know what emotion I’m going to have?’. And the answer is very simple, by looking after your basic needs.

Meeting Our Basic Needs

In DBT, this skill is called ‘PLEASE’, and is a core skill which reminds us of what we can do day-to-day to look after ourselves and in turn, look after our emotions. To understand why this skill would be helpful, all we have to do is reflect on a time when we have been either tired, hungry, or sick (or all three) and how perhaps we were feeling a little more irritable that day. That’s the exact reason as to why this skill exists! Although having something to eat, going for a walk each day, and seeing the doctor when we are unwell doesn’t resolve any situations in our life which might make us angry or stressed, what it does do is reduces the chances of our emotional responses being exacerbated by these fundamental needs not being met on top of an emotion-inducing event. 

If we are approaching difficult situations without these needs met, it’s like our emotional gas-tank is already running on empty, so we’re more likely to blow the engine going up a small hill. Whereas, if we can fill the tank up ever so slightly, by addressing the PLEASE factors, then we have a bit more gas in the tank to make it up the hill (aka through the stressful event) without blowing the engine (aka losing our cool).

How to Put the PLEASE Skill into Action

PL – Treat Physical Illness

Take care of your body, treat any illness or injury as it arises by seeing a doctor, and take necessary medication as prescribed

E – Balanced Eating

Fuel your body with food by eating regularly throughout the day

A – Avoid Mood-Altering Substances

Stay away from illicit drugs, and use alcohol in moderation (if at all). Avoid other mood-altering substances such as caffeine also if you find that this makes you more vulnerable to emotions

S – Balance Sleep

Every night get 7-9 hours sleep, keep your sleep schedule consistent, and consider changes such as no napping during the day and staying off any electronic devices an hour prior to bed time if you are having difficulty sleeping

E – Get Exercise

Engage in any kind of physical exercise each day, whether its 20 minutes or an hour, do some form of physical activity to keep active

Authored by Kelsie Whittaker, Provisional Psychologist